u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
