I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
