I think I won the penis lottery.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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