just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You are the jesus of drinking
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
