sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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