Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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