Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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