I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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