also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
