Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
