apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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