so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
