i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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