I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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