I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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