wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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