no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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