You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
