can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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