So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
