I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
