i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
