Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
