Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
