we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
We got so high we made milksteak
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize