is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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