Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
