When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
