My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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