Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
