you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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