NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
