You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
