Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
