i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
