Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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