Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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