Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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