I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
