FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
