A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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