I think I won the penis lottery.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
