i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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