I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
