somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
