We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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