Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
No stitches, just platelets and will power
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
