I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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