on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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