the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
