I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
My life is pants optional.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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