I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i would punch a child for taco bell
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
