The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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