I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm sobbing to NWA
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize