I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
