I need help removing her.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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