I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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