I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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