I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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