; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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