the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
