Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
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