what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
