THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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