Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
