well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
