I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
