I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
It was confusing and full of hummus
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
