who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize