you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Dicks are not precious.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
