I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
