I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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