i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
