U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
